A few years ago, some cancer cells were found in my father’s body. The cancer cells had spread within the hypopharynx (the part of the throat that connects to the esophagus), so my father was in an urgent situation where he had to receive surgery as soon as possible. The day before his surgery, I taught him how to send a text message on a cell phone. It was because he would loose his voice when his larynx along with the cancer cells was removed. Knowing this fact very well, my father stayed up till dawn talking to me.
When the day broke, my father was brought to the operation room. As he was taken to the recovery room after surgery, he had lost his voice as expected. He was able to say a word once in a while, but his voice was so hoarse and weak that it was very hard to understand what he was saying; he was barely able to make a sound and that was by putting all his strength in the abdominal area to the point where his face turned red, so I needed to concentrate all my attention on what he was trying to say in order understand it.
From that day on, my father sent me a text message every day asking how I was doing. At first, I responded to him with sincerity, but I gradually started feeling annoyed as he sent me text messages more and more frequently as the days went by. So, when he sent me ten text messages, I sent a reply back only once. Then my father became worried about his daughter, and called me; only after hearing my voice on the phone did he feel relieved, and then he hung up the phone. That day, too, I heard his hoarse and feeble voice saying:
“Did . . . you . . . eat?”
After saying this, he hung up the phone right away, probably because he was tired from using a lot of strength to say that. Shortly after, my phone rang again.
“Where . . . are . . . you?”
A little later, he called me again.
“When . . . will . . . you . . . come . . . home?”
I became irritated without even knowing it.
“I can’t hear you well, so send me a text message!”
After saying this coldly to him, I hung up. At that time, I did not know that my father had to endure severe pain to just say one word—he must have felt as if his intestines were being cut away. Moreover, I did not even imagine how heartbroken he would feel, grasping the phone, when I coldly hung up on him. Now I realize how great his love was for me; each and every word he spoke to me by squeezing his voice with all his strength contained his great love for me. However, he is not in this world anymore. My heart is pierced with bitter remorse for not having fathomed his heart earlier.
“I have come. I have come to find you, My children!”
Now I can hear our Heavenly Father Ahnsahnghong’s earnest voice. He loved and missed us, His sinful children, so much that He Himself came down to this earth for us! While crossing the mountains and rivers to find His children all alone, He cried out, “I have come!” How distressed and anxious He must have been! I am so sorry that I gave pain to our Father who would feel so lonely because of His children who did not recognize Him and refused to listen to Him.
“Everything will go well for you if you listen to Mother’s words.”
I will never forget Father’s last words to us. It is because I do not want to remain an immature child, who does not fathom the heart of Father, anymore.